Love, Loss, and the Stories We Can’t Stop Replaying
- Farshid Rashidifar
- 9 hours ago
- 2 min read
By Farshid Rashidifar (MSW. RSW. Psychotherapist)
April 12, 2025
After a breakup, some people let go quietly. Others find themselves checking, watching, or waiting — unable to fully disconnect.
In therapy, I’ve seen how hard it can be to move on from a relationship that once felt profound or “meant to be.” These aren’t always cases of unfinished business. More often, they reflect something deeper: the belief that certain connections are destined — and therefore shouldn’t end.
This belief doesn’t just shape how we fall in love.It shapes how we handle its loss.
When someone views their relationship as a rare, perfect fit, the breakup often doesn’t feel like closure. It feels like a mistake. And that’s when the tracking begins — sometimes through memory, sometimes through behavior: re-reading old messages, checking social media, or reaching out “just to see how they’re doing.”
These behaviors, while common, often prolong the pain.
In my practice, I’ve seen a quiet split between those who believe love is found and those who believe love is built. The former tend to hold on longer. The latter tend to grieve more consciously — because they see the end of a relationship not as fate’s failure, but as the end of a chapter they helped write.
This isn’t about right or wrong belief systems. It’s about understanding how those beliefs guide post-breakup behavior — and how they can either support or sabotage healing.
If you find yourself unable to let go, the question isn’t “How do I stop caring?”It’s “What did this relationship mean to me — and what belief is making it so hard to release?”
Because sometimes, the hardest part of moving on isn’t the loss of love. It’s the collapse of a story we believed had one ending — and ended differently.
If this reflection speaks to you and you’re considering a deeper exploration of your own relational patterns, you’re welcome to request a private consultation.
Farshid works with a small number of clients at a time. All inquiries are reviewed personally to ensure the focus and fit of the work are aligned.
Research Note:
This reflection is grounded in clinical practice and informed by psychological research. While specific studies, data, and models are not disclosed, the themes are drawn from contemporary academic literature and reinterpreted through a therapeutic lens.
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